Adventures in poo

Have I mentioned that I should rename my life "adventures in poo," because I should.  Not only am I about to write about poo, but I'm going to get real deep about it.  Elliott is a charming little guy.  He has the cutest little curls and his giggle is to die for.  He loves to read books and snuggle.  He is a super huge fan of movies and his favorite food is meat. Any kind of meat is the first thing he eats off of his plate.  All that meat makes his diapers fierce. On multiple occasions Richard told me that he thought Elliott needed to go to the doctor because his diapers smell like an out-house. Along with the nasty scent he also was in the habit of pooping a little tiny bit 6 times a day.  I was over the stinky diapers and decided he was getting potty trained (ready or not).  I followed a three day program where they wear only underwear and you pretty much clear the schedule of anything but sitting at home watching him drink juice and asking him if he will tell me if he needs to go potty...oh and cleaning up all the inevitable accidents. At the end of three days I was feeling excited because he was totally dry for a day and all was going well.  Then I realized it had been a while since he had a BM.  Then...oh boy...I realized just how NOT potty trained he was.  He pooped his pants 7 times....SEVEN...in one day.  It was rough.  I was worn out and sick of poop and wondering what to do.  I was feeling super frustrated and sat down to write in my journal.  I was feeling pretty stuck because I was so proud of him for making so much progress on the training.  He was doing great on staying dry.  Even at night he was waking up dry.  He loved his big boy pants. Actually he loves his underwear so much that even now over a month later he is still talking about the day he got them.   Every night at dinner  we discuss our favorite parts of our day.  Charlotte always talks about something she liked and EVERY night Elliott says, "I go to target and get my UNDERWEAR!!" and when he says underwear he jumps.  So yea, he loves his underwear and he has made so much progress.  Anyway, there I am feeling overwhelmed and smelling poo on me (ugh no matter how many times I wash my hands I can still smell it) and writing in my journal.  Then it occurred to me that sometimes that how it is in life.  We start on something that is difficult and we make a whole lot of progress and improvement, but the truth is we are still crapping ourselves. We still have a lot of progress left to make to get where we want to be.  I partially regretted even starting to potty train Elliott, because it was hard and the results weren't perfect and the little failings he was having a long the way were frustrating.  When I think about taking on a new responsibility, learning something new or looking for a job I know that it will start with lots of accidents/failings at the beginning and then I will get more proficient, but I have to remind myself that even once I make some improvements that I doesn't mean that I have totally arrived.  There is no going back to where you were before.  You can't go back because even if you try you are letting go of progress already made.

Alright, I wrote this a month or two back and I believed it.  Still do...sort of.  But it was still a major struggle and on one fateful Sunday Elliott pooped for the 4th time in his underwear as we loaded into the car to go to church.  Richard's brain almost exploded all over the car and I looked like the girl in exorcist with my head spinning all the way around.  We put him back in a diaper.  Holy moly, the guilt a felt about this was major.  I was certain that all I needed to do was keep going.  And gosh this kid loved his underwear so much.  I felt mean...super mean and like I had given up on him and I had even written a blog post about his process for heaven's sake. He was back in a diaper (and we were late for church), but I promised him that if went potty by himself at church I would let him put his big boy pants back on.  We got home and I put his underwear back on and no less than twenty minutes went by and he POOPED in his pants again.  Richard went to the store and bought pull-ups that very sabbath day.  We were done!!!  Now 3 weeks later he is still in the pull-up, but doing better than he was before.  I don't know what that means for my big old allegory of life, but that's where we are now.

In other news, I believe everyone who actually reads this already knows, but we are moving back to Richmond. Richard is doing the endodontics program at VCU.  I am excited that I think I have found a job that is a good fit and now all we need to do is find a place to live and a nanny NBD. Ha!  Maybe all these changes made me get all deep about moving forward and doing hard things and not going back on the progress you have made.  I don't know for sure.  I have a feeling I will write even less once I go back to work.  I like reading old blog posts and remembering the way things make me feel and think. Even my journal rarely gets written in anymore.  But I guess these child raising years are just busy and may just be a big blur with the only versions of what happens recorded in skewed versions in your kids memories.   I suppose I am cool with that and if on a rare occasion I feel like recording my adventures in poo on this little old blog, I sure will do that.

 Charlotte constructed our family and out of snowmen.

 so proud of the cake they made for Doodles.

 Vivian wearing Elliott's T-shirt after having a blowout and that was all I had.

 Elliott helped at my dental appointment and may have sprayed water all over my face.

 She started soccer and sadly for her she got my ball-handling skills and aggressiveness.

 We went to a party where we dressed up as a character for a book and we went as Fancy Nancy's parents

 Elliott had a stomach bug on Easter Sunday.So sad.  Charlotte was more than happy to collect his eggs for him.

 A friend bought this for charlotte.  It says, "I'm my favorite princess."  TRUE!!

 Yup...every single week.  It is the worst.

 I may be a terrible mother for taking this picture!!

For two years I have been talking about dying my hair red.  I finally did it. I was super excited about it, until i got home and realized it was more brown than red.   This is the picture it looks the most red in, but mostly it looks brown. How is that for epic life decision?