30

When I graduated from PA school I was 23.  For the first few years of work when people would ask me how old I was, I would lie.  I would tell them I was 28.  It seemed believable and more mature. Soooo I'm turning 30 this week.  THHHIIIRRRTTYY.  And the thing is, I really feel like 30 is young. Real young.  About 4 years ago I was at book club and a friend was telling everyone how she was freaking out about turning 30 and I remember thinking that 30 was not a big deal.  I couldn't figure out what there was to freak out about.  But now that it is me...I've been thinking. (A dangerous past time...I know) I'm kind of feeling weird about it. The other day I was going to listen to music and I hovered over my itunes and ugh...I'm sick of all my music and I needed to listen to something new...and cool?  I went to spotify...not pandora...because my younger siblings use spotify and I am trying to stay up on things and not fall too far behind the times. Anyway, I get to spotify and start to try to find music and I think I gotta call Garrett and find out who he is listening to. Garrett is 17 and he is my guru on all things hip these days...you know...what the kids are doin.  A typical conversation between G and I goes like this:
Me: Hey G nice hair...Is that what the kids are wearin these days?
G: uh sure
Me: soo do you like my shirt
G: uh I guess...yea it's cool
Me: soooo you think I look cool
G: nah, you're a mom. you can't be cool anymore.

Anyway, so back to my day trying to find music...then G's words come to me and I realize..to a certain degree he's right.  This is where the real deep thoughts start.  I started thinking about clothes and trends.  Half the time I can't even figure out what is "in style" these days and don't know how to walk the fine line of wearing things that are in style that is somewhere between trying to dress like a teenager and looking like I am wearing "mom jeans". Except that I am a mom...right?! So where does that leave me?  Forever 21...is it time to let that go? Can a 30 year old "shop responsibly" there?  Then the thought comes, my kids will be embarrassed of me when they get older no matter what I wear.  Then I start thinking about about the 80's and how our mom's were still up on the trends when they were rocking the banana clips and getting perms and using those little circular shirt clip thingys. I am feeling like thirty is a weird point where you can become frumpy or not. Then I get back to thinking about music and wondering if wanting to find new bands and songs means I am trying too hard and denying the reality of aging.   Then I start thinking about how weird it is that Mark Whalberg is no longer the heart throb in the movies and now he is the dad.   Then I go ahead and have diarrhea of the mouth about all this stuff to Rich. Anndd..............he just stares at me for a second or two (I can't really blame him...how does one reply to insanity) and then he says, "Maybe you should make a blog called 30 and popular and then you can decide what is cool for 30 year olds."  It is at that moment when I realized, I am being ridiculous.  And honestly I don't know why I am publishing all this nonsense, except I have been thinking about it.

Maybe what I am trying to say is I don't know how to age gracefully.  And also sort of that I didn't really plan my life much beyond thirty.  I have vivid memories of being a kid and fantasizing about when I would be 16 and 25.  Those seemed like prime ages (and in my fantasy I was always wearing fabulous lime green leggings and an oversized aqua blue sweatshirt...don't ask me why.) Now I am turning thirty and I guess I need to start fantasizing about what I want to be when I am 40 or 56 or 82.  Lime green leggings and an oversized aqua blue sweatshirt???  Maybe that is the key.

Anybody have any aging advice for me?

 Mammie gave Charlotte a barbie that used to be Nana's barbie.  Charlotte has turned into a hermit in an effort to have more barbie playing time.

 We went to San Francisco for a family reunion and it was fabulous!!

 Cousin love

 Second cousin love

 Sausalito (I can't say it without saying like the old pepperidge farm cookie commercials)  Also, Charlotte was shaking her head and trying to avoid having her picture taken...punk

 I was insisting on trying a french macaroon...never had one before and SF seemed like a good place to look for one.  Twas good.

 Happy 32nd birthday to Richard...glad you aren't having some kind of weird identity crisis.  32 and popular.

 My cupcakes for Rich's birthday did not travel well. Rich called them "f" cupcakes...the f can mean whatever you would like ;)

This magic moment

So Saturday Rich said, "tomorrow I want to make sure Charlotte gets a good nap, because I want to keep her up late enough to see the fireflies."  We had a great father's day dinner and headed out to the porch to enjoy the sunset and start watching for fireflies.  For a little while we didn't think any would be out. Then slowly we started to see them.  We live at the top of a big hill that goes down into a meadow/park area with no houses.  So at first we saw a few light up in the distance then more and more started to show up.  Then all of a sudden they were everywhere.  It was one of those moments where you can hardly take it all in.  It is so peaceful and exciting and maybe just kind of spectacular.  Charlotte was yelling, "I see anoverone (another one) Nana!!!" whenever they came close to us. She was calling them to us, "come on lightening bugs, come here fireflies."  Is was so precious!  The trees down in the meadow looked like they had their own solar system with a billion stars all twinkling and sparkling off the hiney of these bugs. The air was still and warm and there was no other sounds except our family.  It was so perfect that I kept touching my phone feeling obligated to record it, but then letting go and knowing that this moment couldn't be recorded. Here is a conversation from the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty that sums up my feelings.  Walter is talking to a photographer and they have a perfect shot of a snow tiger. 

Walter Mitty: When are you going to take it?

Sean O'Connell: Sometimes I don't. If I like a moment, for me, personally, I don't like to have the distraction of the camera. I just want to stay in it.

Walter Mitty: Stay in it?

Sean O'Connell: Yeah. Right there. Right here.

That's what we needed to do.  I just needed to stay in it. So you get the picture...it...was....magical.

So anyway, we are out there just loving it and Nancy was telling Charlotte that the fireflies were fairies and Charlotte decided that they would "give me powers". Our aim was to catch one of these glitter-bums and complete Char's magical evening.  Nancy caught one and we were all grouped around waiting see her reaction.  Well, it flew up near her face and then landed on her leg.  She..started...shrieking.  She was terrified.  She just kept yelling, "get it off me".   uhh...not quite the magical moment we had in mind. But actually quite hilarious.

After that she was kind of over it.  She was hovering close to the door. " I don't like lightening bugs." and "I don't want the firefly to get on me."

womp womp

Check out my attempt our attempt at getting a pic of the two of them together in the clothes Ama sent.  Two-year-olds don't sit still...especially right after church at naptime.

 Humpback rock hiking trail with the Petersons.

 Charlotte was becoming one with nature...is it rude of me to take a pic of my kid getting their diaper changed?

 Yea...Char smiled gloriously with Emily, but just scowled during our pic...so this is probably more accurate for our fam anyway.

Anybody want to go swimming?

This week we went to Water Country USA for Memorial Day.  Richard's family loves to go there and his parents always rent a cabana near hubba-bubba highway (the lazy river thing).  They love Cabana 14 and have always been told that they can't reserve it because it is first person there gets the first pick.  Nancy always gets there an hour early so she can get the one she wants.  This year was no different. She was waiting at the gates when they opened and went directly over to claim Cabana 14.  When she got there she was told that somebody had called an hour earlier and already reserved it.  She was ticked because they have never let her make phone reservations in the past.  She talked to the managers and they were sort of jerky. They said the policy has been to take phone reservations for over 4 years and somebody just told her wrong.  She was stewing over it all day.  We had a great day playing in the water, but Nancy was still a little irritated with them.  It was toward the end of the day and we were in the baby pool area that connects to the hubba-bubba highway.  Rich was playing with Charlotte on some water fountains and they were standing and sitting on them, when Rich looked in the water and saw some poop.  He told the lifeguard that somebody pooped in the pool and then came over to let us know.  Then he started thinking, "I wonder if it is my kid."  He asked me to check her and i pulled up her shirt/rash guard to check her diaper when I noticed there was poop in her shirt...eck.  So I take her to change and she has poop up to her chest front and back.  The water and sunscreen made it really hard to clean off with a wipe. SO GROSS! I decided that a shower would be required and headed back to the cabana (cabana 11) to get soap and change of clothes.  When I showed up his family let me know that they had to shut down the pool.  Not just the baby pool, but the entire Hubba-bubba highway.  Nancy said, "That's what they get.  I've been mad all day and now I finally feel at peace."  That cracked me up.  So I am standing in line at the shower and watching the lifeguards frantically disinfecting every beach chair and life jacket and feeling guilty that it was charlotte, but also kind of laughing that Nancy felt they got their comeuppance. Who pooped in their pool...We did...don't mess with the Sedwicks.  

 Everyone asks me if we really do have an "enchanted view"...they answer is yes (right out our back door).