Wednesday, January 27, 2016

oh the humanity

I have been writing a post in my head for about two months now.  Clearly the post never graduated from my head the computer and it won't.9009 It was all about gratitude and thankfulness. I have other things I want to write about, but basically the combination of these four things has had me thinking a lot about my ability to be happy and choosing happiness.
http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy
http://www.businessinsider.com/a-neuroscience-researcher-reveals-4-rituals-that-will-make-you-a-happier-person-2015-9
https://itunes.apple.com/us/movie/inside-out-2015/id999607190
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng


Alright so coming up to the Christmas season I was feeling a little worn thin.  My eye was twitching (that used to happen during finals a lot) and I my mind felt jumbled and anxious over inconsequential things. My plans were all coming together, though. I was putting together a luncheon for the youth to host for the elderly people in our church and then the next day (Christmas Eve) we were flying to Utah. The luncheon turned out so nice and made me rethink any complaints I had about adding one more thing right before Christmas. I loved watching the youth waiting outside to escort people in. I was worried about getting everything all packed and even though I started packing a week early so much of what we were taking we were still using until the last minute.  Anyway, I got everything packed and got to bed at a decent hour.  On Christmas Eve morning I got up early and went for a run and it felt great. The weather was good at all of our airports and everything was packed.  All I had to do was get my kids out of bed and head out.  We drove two separate cars up to DC and only left 15 minutes later than planned and hit ZERO traffic in DC. The kids were happy and cheerful and we didn't have to pull out any electronics for our 3 hour drive up and that meant they would be excited to use them on the plane. We got to my sisters house and paid her friend to drop us at the airport and park our car at their house. Does it sound like I am bragging? Well I am.  I was bragging to myself in my head. Everything was going exactly as planned and smooth. I was so excited that we were going to get to my parents house and just be excited to be there and not complaining about the amount of work that traveling takes.

We got in line to check in and there was a huge line up that happened right behind us and I thought about how lucky we were to have beat the rush.  I started chatting with the woman in line behind us.  She was flying to Atlanta where the weather was bad and they cancelled her flight.  Her 8 year-old looked near tears. I again was thinking about how lucky it was that we weren't flying through Atlanta and how unusual it was was for the weather to be good in Cincinnati and SLC, but not Atlanta.  I wished the woman luck and walked happily to the check in counter.  Can you feel it coming?  Everything was going too good, right?  Turns out our flight to Cincinnati was delayed for some unexplained reason and we would miss our connection to SLC.  There were no flights out of that airport to get us there AND there was no way they could get all us out together today.  Rich and I finally came to the decision that myself and the girls would fly out of a different airport today and then Richard and Elliott would fly in on Christmas day.  Thankfully, my sister's friend was able to come back to pick us up so we could drive to the other airport. I was still hoping that maybe there was a flight still available out of the other airport for Richard and Elliott too. It was not meant to be.   We were super fortunate that Richard noticed (BEFORE we checked in) that the way they had booked Charlotte, Viv and I was wrong and we would have been stuck in LA overnight, so instead we were all going to be staying at a hotel together. We got to spend a really nice Christmas eve together as our little family.  We went to see Santa Claus (we hadn't had a chance to do this yet), went swimming and went out to dinner at a delicious Mexican place.  So here is the thing, it was crummy and I wanted to be in Utah with my family and I wanted the traveling to go well, but I was happy to be hanging with my little family. But here are the two really cool parts of that day that brought tears to my eyes.  As I was checking in to the hotel I told them we would need to park our car there for 11 days and 7 days came free with our stay so I needed to pay for the other days.  I had been quoted 10 dollars a day, but then they said, "don't worry about it, Merry Christmas."  I got a little choked up and said, "thanks I needed some Christmas cheer because our flight was cancelled today."  Then the really sweet thing was that evening when we were watching Charlie Brown Christmas in our room






there was a knock on the door.  It was an employee of the hotel that had his arms full of gifts for the kids.  They were nice gifts, brand new and bought with each of my kids in mind.  Charlotte got a princess teddy bear with a Sofia the First puzzle, Elliott got a stuffed Spiderman and a truck, Vivian was given a stuffed tiger (that the man assured me they had checked to make sure the eyes wouldn't come off when she was playing with it) and a talking teddy bear toy.  I just started crying.  PEOPLE ARE GOOD!!

The next morning we were scheduled to fly to Oakland, CA and then connect and fly back to Utah.  To cut part of this story short I'll just say I was extremely anxious and trying hard to get us on a direct flight later that day.  It didn't happen, but sometimes hope leads to more disappointment than if you hadn't had any chance. I decided to go for a walk to keep some of those feelings at bay. As I walked through the airport I saw Charlotte alone on the moving sidewalk and I was mad and confused and kind of worried when I saw her there by herself.  Then she looked up and realized it wasn't her.  Just a look a like in the same outfit.  They turned out to be on the same flight.  The girls became friends (as you do when you have on a matching outfit) and then I became friends with the mom (as you do when your children are the same age).  It was nice to have somebody to hang out with while we waited for the maintenance issues on our plane to be resolved and distract me from thinking about my layover time that was disappearing.  We finally boarded the flight and made sure to sit by our new friends.  As we took off they announced the current time and flight time and I realized we were going to miss our flight in Oakland.  I started to tear up and get frustrated.  Richard reminded that I may as well just relax because there is nothing we could do about it.  He's right, he's right, I know he's right.  We are just chillin' on a 6 hour flight and Charlotte has a special love for airplane bathrooms, because...because they are small??... I don't know but we were on our 2nd trip to the bathroom when the flight attendant asked Charlotte if her new little twin friend was her cousin.  Char said, "no, my cousins live in Utah.  We are going to see them today."  She said, "well you aren't going to Utah you are going to California."  I explained our whole predicament and how not only were we on our second attempt to get to Utah (and this time going through california), but we were going to miss our connection too.  Here's where it gets good again. The flight attendant picked up the phone and called to the front and explained what was going on and asked for them to check on it as we got closer.  As we were getting closer to landing over head they asked "will the family that is trying to get to SLC please press their call button?"  then they said, "will everyone look back to where these lights are.  This family needs to get to a connecting flight and we would like everyone to stay seated to they can get to their flight."  My new friend and I were mid conversation when it happened and both of us started tearing up.  Haha.    The flight attendants took all our bags to the front of the plane and everyone stayed seated so we could sprint to the SLC flight that they held for us.  People are good!

As unfortunate as it was for our flight to be cancelled, I really feel like it gave me a chance to see some great examples of good in humanity.  I know it sounds ridiculous because it wasn't the end of the world to not end up where we wanted, but when people went out of their way to make things nice for us it meant the world to me!

Another people-are-great-moment: we asked my sister's friend to teach Charlotte and Carter a ski lesson.  He was willing to do it despite a super busy schedule and when we texted my younger brother's (19 year old) friend to tell him we were taking the kids ski at the resort where he works he stopped by to say hi and take a few runs with them.  How cool is that!?!

Okay but here is the best part of that ski day.  I wanted to ski, because I only get a few days a year.  When I looked up the prices it was totally not worth it for me to buy a pass since the kids lesson was only two hours.  For some reason I still decided to bring my ski stuff to the resort just in case.  Jennie dropped Charlotte, Viv, and I off so we could get charlotte her rentals while she parked.  I had Viv in the Bjorn and had just walked away from the ticket counter with Charlotte's ticket.  This man walked up to me and said, "do you want a free pass?"  WHAT?!?! Seriously?!? yes I do! Here's the kicker he said, "you looked like you needed a pass,"  Oh really? What in the world made you think that?  Was it my lack of ski clothing or the baby strapped to my chest?  I really can't figure out what made him decide to give it me, but I'll take it.  My mom and I joked that it was "Grandma Jo Intervention."  I wouldn't claim divine intervention, because I'm pretty sure the big man has more important things to do, but my Grandmother...  she would want me to get to go skiing.  How nice of that guy to hand over his ticket?

For my new year I'm really wanting to pay it forward.  Look for ways that I could help people with small things that might be helpful to them.








Thursday, October 8, 2015

On Becoming a Lake Powell Mom

When I was growing up my family had a few family vacations to Lake Powell. Even saying "Lake Powell" makes me feel a little giddy and excited.  Lake Powell is the most beautiful place.  It is a red rock canyon that has been dammed up and is now a lake where there is boating and hiking and relaxing and exploring.  It is in Arizona and hot and the water feels like bath water. There were a few years when we were kids where we had an annual tradition of going to Lake Powell.  Then we didn't go for a few years and the next time I went I was a teen with our young women's group from church. I remember watching my mom and another mom that was there.  They packed all kinds of delicious food for the trip, had treats, games, sand toys, water toys, towels, sunscreen and all kinds of random things to make the trip comfortable.  I watched how much work it was to get ready for the trip and then to make each day fun.  They did all the packing, planning and shopping all to make it a great experience for everyone there.  Then when we were there they would go swim with us and enjoy the relaxing parts. They wore their swimming suits without being self conscious of how they looked.  They joked and laughed and had fun.  They encouraged us to have fun too.  As a kid they taught us that it is ok to pee in a lake.  In fact, I remember my younger brother just about had a panic attack when my mom tried to convince him that it really was okay to pee in the lake. They sat on the boat for hours holding the flag and cheering us on when we tried over and over again to get up or master a new skill while wake boarding or water skiing.  Then had a warm towel and smile waiting for us when we got out of the water.  I decided that I wanted to be a "Lake Powell Mom." 

I coined the phrase "Lake Powell Mom" myself, but essentially it is a mom that is up for adventure and up for fun and really has not much to do with Lake Powell itself.  When I was pregnant with Charlotte I went to a Banff Film Festival and saw this family that lived on top of a mountain and their girls would ski in their spare time and another family had a rock climbing wall in their house.  My sister told me about a family that took their toddler on hiking/backpacking trip for a year. When I think about these moms I think about what it is like to try to figure out what kind of food to make or how to get the warm socks to the top or the mountain or when they are going to have time to clean all the chalk dust in the house from the climbing wall, or how to pack just enough to keep the pack light but have all the essentials. Now I have no intention of moving to the top of a mountain or camping for a year(I need a Target a little too much), but I love the idea of doing fun, adventurous things with my little ones.  However, I have learned that often the packing, planning and executing these excursions falls to the mom.  And now..I'm the mom. Sometimes when I'm in the midst of packing for a trip  or even a picnic at  the park I wonder if it will be worth it.  I wonder if I should just wait until they are older.  I think that I would rather use my energy laying on the couch watching TV (sad...but true).  I feel guilty that I am not deep cleaning (who are we kidding I should be doing the basic cleaning) my house like I know I should or finally getting around to organizing my closet.  The problem is going on adventures with kids is always a coin toss as to whether you are brave for going on the adventure or stupid for dragging your kids along.  Sometimes I flip-flop between feeling courageous and feeling like I have made the worst decision ever. Somehow I think that even when these times turn into huge disasters it will create cooler memories than watching Frozen or Penguins for the millionth time.  I really have to remind myself of this goal on a regular basis. I don't feel like I am there yet, but I'm learning.  This summer we went to Lake Powell with my family.  Luckily, my mom was there to still be the real "lake powell mom" and take care of all the logistics, but it was a blast.








Playing "Party, Party" with Ama.  It is a favorite!

She liked the water...when she was asleep on the shore.






 Elliott fell asleep while we were tubing. It was clearly not a hardcore tubing ride.

 



Cousins!
The Baby cousins




I'm a mom.
Gathering "summer air" the night before the first day of preschool for Charlotte.  Summer air is stored in a bag and saved to be breathed in when school/winter seems suffocating you.  This is a tradition that I did growing up      


First day of preschool!  I woke her up and her eyes immediately popped open and she had a instant smile on her face.  She picked her own outfit and was so excited.





Vivian starting to learn to smile.

 Staying at Kingsmill and getting ready to go to Water Country USA.


Check out how cute these two are.  Holding hands...so sweet!!









On the way to the dentist I handed Charlotte a toothbrush. Ideally I would have methodically brushed her teeth before showing up to the appointment, but instead I chucked a toothbrush back to her to do it on the way.  By the time we got there charlotte was crying because she got her toothbrush stuck in her hair.  Four-year-olds are strange.

Elliott's first dental appointment was little more than a typical toothbrush session with dad.



I watched my friend's kids and picked Charlotte up for preschool. I walked in with a 4 yr old, 3 yr old, 2 yr old, 1 yr old and new baby.  It was a crazy couple of minutes and Im glad I don't have to do it on a regular basis, but honestly the kids were as good as they could be.

Apple picking is so much fun and plus the apples are delicious.








We went to the world bicycle championships in Richmond. It was really cool to be there and watch people completing their dreams.  Finish lines always make me tear up.

My college roommate came to visit and it made me oh so happy.  I'm glad a filled out my questionnaire so perfect to end up getting assigned with Katie.




Oh and we have a whole boatload of kids now!! We are moms.


We went to go swimming on the Sedwick's house and Cora loved hanging out with Nana and Charlotte was unsure about how she felt about sharing her Nana time.
The little ones sporting their BYU gear.
On Sundays I put gel in Elliott's hair to give him a nice combover.  This Sunday he was TICKEd about it and spent the next few minutes making it messy again.  But now with the gel it stayed that way. Why do I bother?







We went to the world bicycle championships in Richmond. It was really cool to be there and watch people completing their dreams.  Finish lines always make me tear up.

My college roommate came to visit and it made me oh so happy.  I'm glad a filled out my questionnaire so perfect to end up getting assigned with Katie.




Oh and we have a whole boatload of kids now!! We are moms.


We went to go swimming on the Sedwick's house and Cora loved hanging out with Nana and Charlotte was unsure about how she felt about sharing her Nana time.
The little ones sporting their BYU gear.
On Sundays I put gel in Elliott's hair to give him a nice combover.  This Sunday he was TICKED about it and spent the next few minutes making it messy again.  But now with the gel it stayed that way. Why do I bother?